These past couple of days, no.. pretty much weeks, have been stressful to say the least. Juggling my personal life, my professional life alongside my "blogging life" has taken a toll on me. I am one of those "I can do it all and I will do it all" kinds of people who thrives on pressure to create my best work. I know this is not at all a sustainable or smart way of operating, but it is the truth. I can spend weeks trying to sort through a look or over analyzing every scenario before making a decision, but the outcome is never quite as phenomenal as the ones that I think of on the spot in the heat of the moment. This goes against my tendency to be an over planner that is constantly in need of lists, roadmaps and coloured highlighters. So, you can see how I am constantly engaged in an internal war between the part of me that transforms from coal to a diamond under the pressure of life and the part of me that has already created three excel workbooks and two lists just to go on a weekend girls trip.
I have also recently been at odds with what exactly I'm doing. I know 23 is a little early to be going through a midlife crisis, but being surrounded by a workforce significantly older than I and being invited to weddings, baby showers and bridesmaids getaways has me on edge. On the other hand, I have friends who graduated alongside myself who are living a life I am so envious of - travelling, making awful decisions and enjoying every second of life. I live vicariously through the colourful tapestry that is there lives; however, it leaves me wondering if I have somehow cut myself short by working so soon after graduating. It is an extremely weird and uncomfortable place to be in, this grey area between being too young and being too grown for my age.
I wish I could impart some huge nugget of wisdom as to how to deal with these feelings, but I legitimately am still fighting through it. The waves come and go, and in an instant my anxiety about whether I'm growing up too fast is replaced with the fear that I am not growing up fast enough. As frustrating as that is, however, I have come to realize it is simply part of the journey. I will look back at this time in my life one day and realize the importance of the struggle I am currently trying to work through. But for now, I am content with finding my joy through fashion and expressing my thoughts and emotions through clothing. Coming up with this look was my way of diverging my energy from stressing over my mid-midlife crisis. I threw myself into dainty polka dot patterns and leather accents in order to take a breather from life, if only for a while. This look is all about classic silhouettes and neutral palettes, creating a look thats easy, laid-back yet stylish and fall-appropriate.